Middle Tennessee OP/ED

With all masks, how can you tell who the good guys are?
Bob McMillan
Herald-Citizen Staff
Friday, May 01, 2009
Some people are getting hot under the collar over the stack of gun bills being batted about by our state lawmakers, but not me. I'm just confused.

With everybody else packing, lord knows I want to take my piece with me wherever I go too. These days, you never know when you'll have to blast a bear or crook and anybody else who steps out of line. It just makes good sense having it and several banana clips of ammo with me at all times.

I just want to do it legally. So, hats off to our lawmakers. They've been busy. Sure, only six percent of Tennesseans have permits to carry handguns and state legislators have spent the bulk of their time this session debating gun rights. Count your blessings. Think of what else they might pass if they had idle time weighing on their hands.

Gun bills are nothing new. Nearly every year they're floated up with much fanfare and... quietly shuffled under the table to die in the dark. Not this year. Tennessee's legislature has been shaken up and energized with fresh ideas. Fresh ideas like...lots of gun bills.

This session has seen bills to snap Tennesseans out of their fog and remind us that we have a right to hunt and fish. In this economy, that could come in handy. Lock and load.

Another would issue hunting and fishing permits to the disabled for free and a third would allow hunters to carry a sidearm when hunting deer with bows. After all, we're not all Robin Hood. Nobody wants to face an angry Bambi with a stick.

Another bill would let judges tote handguns wherever police can. It just makes sense. If anything makes it through a bunch of cops, a judge had better have a loaded handgun within easy reach.

You may not have heard of those bills, or the bill that would allow anyone who's had voluntary inpatient mental health care to apply for a handgun permit as long as the hospital stay was five years ago or more and they have a doctor's statement saying they pose no immediate harm. Sounds prudent to me.

Or, the bill that says if you have a gun permit and martial rule is declared in Tennessee, the authorities can't seize your gun. You may be under water, blown away, overrun by foreign forces, locusts or swine flu but you'll have the comfort of cold steel strapped to your side. They can't take that away from you. Not if that bill passes.

Other Tennessee gun bills would allow you to carry loaded firearms in your car or pickup, allow you to use deadly force in protecting your property and prohibit confiscated firearms from being destroyed. They'd instead have to be put up for public auction, with proceeds going to local law enforcement agencies, which are of course swamped dealing with thieves and bad guys with guns.

Still another bill would allow the service weapon of any lawman killed in the line of duty to be given to their spouse or children.

Clearly, everybody's going to have a handgun, one way or another. And if you should decide to register it, who's going to know? Another bill closes public access to handgun permit data. Why would it be any of your business if I've registered my Smith & Wesson, Uzi or autocannon?

Sure, only one of those is technically a handgun. The other two are just backup. In case you use the permit data to find where I live and try to steal my handgun. That's what proponents of the access closure argue. If you're a crook, you're combing public records and the Internet looking for the homes of people with guns to break into. After all, people with guns have the best stuff. And amateurs are probably miserable shots.

If you haven't heard of those bills, you've likely heard the one about the lawmakers who want to let permit holders take guns in bars and on college campuses, two spots known for clear thinking and ample self control.

Think about it. You've got a legal permit and, naturally, you're carrying your gun. Suddenly, you're thirsty and there's the Red Dawg Saloon and Sports Bar dead ahead. Do you really want to take your gun all the way home before popping a cold one? You can't leave it in your car. Well, buck up. Legislators feel your pain.

On the down side, they've tacked on a couple of amendments to pass the thing. Under the current version, it looks like you'll be able to take your handgun into that bar or restaurant serving alcohol. They just won't let you drink. And at 11 p.m., you and your gun have to leave. You'd think we'd have moved past the days of Wyatt Earp and all his silly rules.

Meanwhile, you've got a kid about to go to college? What better gift could prepare him or her for higher education than a handgun? They need protection from all those professors and their ideas, right? So, why not get them something nice with rapid reload features and maybe a place to hang their iPod?

Going to a state park? Yet another bill would mean that while you're out wetting a line or enjoying the scenic wonders of the wildflowers and the waterfalls, protection will be just a quick-draw away.

All these bills, they just confuse me. Which ones will pass? And which version? When and where can I go armed?

I just think it'd be a lot simpler to let us all have guns all the time, anywhere we want. Think of the paperwork we could avoid.

These are, after all, troubled times. Pretty soon, swine flu will have us all wearing masks. When you can't tell the good guys from the bad guys, I don't know about you but cold steel and cordite sure make me feel like a calmer, better member of society.



Bob McMillan is lead paginator and section editor for the Herald-Citizen.